Around 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce and many of these end in fighting and anger. But, that doesn’t mean your divorce is destined to be a hostile one.
Do you want your divorce to be calm on both ends? If yes, read our guide on how to work through a divorce case amicably.
1. Communicate Clearly Throughout the Process
It’s important to have clear guidelines set out when you’re going through a divorce, and that you communicate openly about them. Both parties should be open and honest about their needs and expectations going into things. Depending on how amicable your relationship currently is, you may want to get these expectations in writing.
Make sure that all legal representation is aware of what the needs and expectations of both parties are, too, to prevent any confusion or problems over time. And, both sides should be disclosing all financial information upfront. Hiding debts and assets will just cause greater problems in the future, possibly even legal issues.
2. Keep Your Kids in Mind
If there are kids or dependents involved in your marriage, it’s important to be very careful. Unless your soon-to-be-ex is abusive, you need to support your children’s relationship with them. Trying to turn your children against your ex is a receipt for poor mental health later in life.
Make a plan for your children with your ex, and stick to it. Communicate with your children about what’s happening, and what’s expected of them. Above all, make sure that your children know that you and your ex both still love them and that your divorce doesn’t have anything to do with them.
If your kids are old enough, you should also discuss with them what their preferences are when it comes to custody. Even if they don’t fall in your favor, you need to put the health and happiness of your children first. Make sure you come up with a custody agreement that works for your kids, yourself, and your ex.
3. Follow the Legal Guidelines
You should be sticking to any legal guidelines created by your lawyers, mediators, judges, or any other legal professionals involved in your divorce. That will help you avoid delays, hurt feelings, and other problems.
Depending on what type of divorce you’re getting, the circumstances may be very different. A dissolution, for example, is one where there is no particular fault for the divorce on either side, so the courts don’t get involved until later in the process. Other types of divorce that you might be considering include the following:
- Summary divorce
- No-fault divorce
- Uncontested divorce
- Fault divorce
Ultimately, you won’t be the sole person who decides what type of divorce you’re having. But, you should do your research and know what the possibilities are so that you don’t end up blindsided.
4. Don’t Get Stuck In The Past
If your marriage is ending, it’s likely that there is a ton of baggage and bad experiences in the past. However, you need to let go of the negativity in order to move forward, both in your life and during the legal process.
In some cases, your actions or your ex’s actions may affect the division of assets in a divorce, which can make it difficult to stay amicable during the proceedings. Above all, do your best to stay neutral, and stay calm, even if past misdeeds get brought up. Rising above the negativity is really the best thing you can do to ensure a peaceful divorce.
5. Be Fair
Especially if you’re angry about the end of your marriage, it can be tempting to try and take as much as possible away from your ex. But, if you’re looking to be amicable, it’s important to be fair and balanced when it comes to things like division of assets and custody.
Try and lay out what you need from the division fairly and evenly, and listen with a balanced ear to what your ex requests in return. A fair and balanced end to your marriage is the best possible way to keep it amicable and keep you and your ex on good terms in the long run.
6. Take Care of Your Physical and Emotional Health
A divorce can be very taxing on your health. That’s why it’s so important to take time for yourself and continue working towards improving both your mental and your physical health.
This is the time to take advantage of your support system, your friends and families who are there to lend a sympathetic ear and a helping hand when you need a little extra help.
You can also look for professional help. A therapist can be a great resource during a divorce and can help you work through things before they end up in big fights with your ex. A divorce coach or therapist is also an option, if you’re both willing, so that you can work through your issues before you get to the paperwork.
You also need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself, physically. Get plenty of sleep, and make sure that your sleep hygiene and habits are all on point.
Drink water, eat right, and continue going about your routine. A divorce can be stressful, but it’s important to keep the rest of your life going as normally as possible — the divorce process won’t last forever, after all.
7. How to Divorce Amicably? It’s Not as Hard as You Think
With mutual respect and the right amount of effort, it’s not nearly as difficult as you might think to answer the question, “how to divorce amicably?”.
Looking for legal help with your upcoming divorce? Contact us today.