Not everyone in marriages will tell you this, but 4-5 years, down the line when the color of newly-weds wears off, you feel colorless. People often misunderstand it as they are not right for each other, but that’s not the case.
This can happen in any marriage, or even in live-in. There comes a time when they get bored with each other because it has been quite some time, they are together, and things are quite routine, leaving no room for spice and surprises.
This does not mean you must end your relationship. But this means you must start putting extra effort to build upon the same, and lead a successful marriage. After all, you love your partner, and what’s love if it cannot stand the test of time?
Today, we will discuss what you can do rekindle the spark after 5 years of marriage:
- Don’t Talk, Communicate
No, talking and communicating and not the same. Talking means just putting your thoughts on the table, whereas, communication is nowhere close to it. You cannot just keep talking your way throughout your married life and expect it to be a happy one. You need to communicate.
So, what is communication? Or, how is it different from talking? Does it mean you have to listen as well? Yes of course, but that’s not it.
For most people listening means keeping quiet while the other one speaks. It is not a rebuttal. Listening means that when the other speaks, you let him speak and understand what they are trying to say. That is what effective listening is which is continuously missing from most marriages.
You can never make effective communication without listening properly. You need to understand that it is you both versus the problem together, and not you vs your partner. Once you understand this concept, you will find a way through most of your fights.
- Learn to stay apart
In the initial days, like most couples you are attached to the hip with each other, which is fine. The problem arises when you think that’s how you will stay for the rest of your lives. Here’s a reality check for you: staying so close to each other, like literally is adorable, but isn’t practical.
There is a reason why opposites attract but are at two different ends of a magnet. In the initial days, you guys forget that you are two different individuals but make peace with the fact that not all your interests and hobbies, or even friends are the same.
Learn to spend time away from each other. Not only will this be good for you on a personal level, but also for the other partner to introspect. Usually, in relationships, one person understands the importance of personal life but the other person doesn’t. This mismatch is often the trigger-point of arguments among couples.
- Don’t Just Forgive, don’t address the problem again.
Well, we all know successful marriages have a lot of forgiving involved, but do you know what forgiving actually means? Forgiving for the sake of forgiving would only result in piling which when triggered will burst all at once.
Usually, in most cases one partner is right, and the other isn’t, one among you both needs to forgive. But just saying ‘I forgive you,’ doesn’t imply that you have forgiven him/her.
To actually forgive means that you will not refer to that problem again, that phase is over, and you will not play the blame game either.
- Get Her your favorite lingerie
In the first three points we discussed the emotional aspect, but now its time to discuss other important things as well. A healthy marriage is established when you both have achieved the right mix of desire, love, and life.
Understand that you guys are in a marriage that requires commitment and some spice. Gifting her lingerie will add to the spicy aspect of the marriage, which is usually worn out during the years. You can easily buy it online from sites like Cirillas. Lastly, she knows that you will drool like a puppy when she decides to surprise you with that lingerie.
Lastly, remember you both are together on this ride of life. If you wish to make it to the end, never let the love die!