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Conquering The Green-Eyed Monster In You: Steps To Identify And Overcome Jealousy

Conquering The Green-Eyed Monster In You: Steps To Identify And Overcome Jealousy

Jealousy is a part and parcel of any and every relationship. Emotion is a profound aspect of any relationship and trust keeps relationships together.

Jealousy is such a feeling that it slowly but surely hacks away at the base of any good relationship until there is no emotion left. Jealousy grows like a weed at the base of a good relationship and unknown to the people in the relationship, jealousy slowly corrodes away the relation.

Conquering The Green-Eyed Monster In You: Steps To Identify And Overcome Jealousy

To overcome jealousy one must first be well aware of it. Most of the times we live in denial and let jealousy take its own sweet time. But once aware of it you can gradually work at it and solve it. So let us take a look at a few ways you can overcome jealousy.

Where Does Jealousy Spring From?

Jealousy stems from one’s insecurity about oneself. Most people agree that in a relationship they feel unsure about how much their partner really loves them. Sometimes we can feel like we love a person more than they love us and that we are not good enough for our partner. Unfounded thoughts such as these give birth to jealousy.

Acceptance Is The Key

Self-awareness is the first step to recovery. One must accept that one is jealous of one’s partner before one can deal with it. You may think that you are not in the same league as your partner and that you don’t deserve them.

It is very easy to convince yourself on such things and once your brain is convinced it adjusts itself to this new information and behaves in a very different way. Such random and erratic behavior is not at all conducive to a healthy relationship.

Going Downhill?

To complicate matters further the more you are convinced of such trivial lies the more you start to think negative thoughts regarding your relationship. It is simply a matter of time till such negative thoughts start to affect your daily decision making.

The poorer your decision the worse your act and such is the viciousness of this downward spiral that once you are caught in it, you will get sucked in like quicksand. What makes getting free of it harder is the fact that you have convinced yourself that this is the truth.

Nip The Problem In The Bud

First and foremost accept that you are jealous of your partner. Acceptance is the first big leap you should take. Then identify the source of this jealousy. Is it something your partner does better than you? Is it your partner’s income? Or is it someone else your partner is on good terms with that is rubbing you the wrong way?

Whatever it is you need to identify the source of your jealousy. Once you have found the source ask yourself why is it bothering you? Do you really have fair ground to suspect your partner? Or is it just your insecurities?

Are You The Problem?

If your partner earns more than you which is bothering you then ask yourself what you can do to change it. You can, of course, take up a better job which provides more salary but then again you will do better not to compete with your partner on such trivial issues.

Get to the root of your problems. If income is the sole source of your jealousy then merely increasing your own income will not help. You need to change your attitude first. If you are the problem then surely you too are the solution.

Talk It Out

You can work at your insecurities by talking openly about it to your partner. Directly talking to the person you are involved with is the best thing to do. Just in case you are not ready to talk to your partner then talk to someone else.

A professional counselor can help you a great deal without being judgmental. A counselor will help you to think rationally. A best friend is of great help at such times, even an unbiased friend can help you get back on the right track.

Consulting a counselor is the best thing to do as they can draw out the source of all your negative thought. It may be some childhood trauma or some past incident that is triggering your brain to think on those lines.

It can also be a traumatic past relationship that is holding you back. Getting to the root of the problem is essential and you won’t be able to do it yourself. My advice to you will be to seek help before it is too late.

About the author

John Paul

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