Every single aspect of your relationship is dependent on communication. Expecting your partner to read your mind doesn’t work and will only lead to disappointment and serious misunderstandings.
We humans are equipped with powerful communication tools but sometimes, we don’t really know how to use those. This is especially true in romantic settings that may involve talks about sensitive issues like sex, money and fidelity.
If you’re looking for opportunities to become a better communicator in your relationship, here are five tips that may come in handy.
Be an Active Listener
Communication isn’t just about delivering a message across, it also involved being on the receiving end.
There is a massive difference between listening and hearing. The act of hearing is simple – you collect data. Listening, however, necessitates a much more proactive approach. You may have to clarify by asking follow-up questions. You may have to change your behavior on the basis of the information you’re receiving.
Listening involves letting your partner know that you’re there and that you understand. It’s a communication skill that some people ignore, which can contribute to serious conversational imbalances.
Talk in the Bedroom
While we tend to be quite vocal in everyday life, there are specific situations and scenarios that contribute to communicational difficulties.
Speaking openly and honestly about sex is something that many people avoid.
If you cannot communicate your needs and preferences, however, chances are that you’ll never enjoy the sex of a lifetime.
Do you want to experiment with sex toys? Are you worried about bringing this topic up? You shouldn’t be! Chances are that your partner will have fun with spicing up things a bit, as well. Sex toys such as a bangin betty can be used when one of you isn’t in the mood to have full sex that night. Vibrators and massagers can also be used as foreplay to increase pleasure and reduce the risk of soreness in the morning.
So, do talk about it and do experiment with some classic adult sex toy options like a small realistic dildo, which you can get on sites like HotCherry. If you like it, you can definitely talk about and move on to more intriguing and innovative options.
Making an assumption, even if it’s about something small and insignificant should never happen in a relationship.
Stick to one very, very simple rule – when in doubt, ask your partner about it.
Healthy communication should allow your partner to make an input about everything that concerns them. Assuming something takes away from the power of your significant other. On top of that, you could make a really wrong decision that will jeopardize the dynamics.
There are many common assumptions that may seem small at first but that can eventually kill the relationship. A simple example is a gender-based assumption – men should act like this and women like that. Your partner is an individual. General stereotypes wouldn’t necessarily apply to them and making an assumption in such instances will be hurtful.
Making a Request and Making a Demand Is Not One and the Same Thing
When wanting something, you should learn how to make a request instead of demanding or even worse – making an ultimatum.
Requests should be clear, manageable and shared respectfully.
If you want your partner to do something, be very specific about it. Don’t threaten and don’t state consequences. If you are asking for something, explain why it’s important to you and why you’re making the respective request.
Demanding will often sound like a threat. It will change the power dynamic in the relationship. When you demand, you make your partner much less likely to cooperate. You don’t really state why something should happen. As a result, the outcome could be the exact opposite to what you’re looking forward to.
Accept your partner with their capabilities, their shortcomings and their flaws. Make requests when you really need something to happen and leave the rest to them. A fear of consequences should never be a motivator.
Learn More about Each Other’s Communication Styles
No two people communicate in the exact same way.
Some are descriptive, vocal and detailed in the information they deliver to others. Some prefer to keep it short and sweet. Still, other people may communicate through their actions rather than through their words.
Take some time to acquaint yourself with your partner’s communication style. There are people who will state openly what they want. Others may need some prompting to deliver the message across. That’s ok! Don’t get mad or impatient if your communication styles are different. You can still make it work with a bit of compromise.
Do observe your partner in everyday life. The way they interact with others is probably the way they’ll also communicate with you. And when you honestly and openly accept someone else for who they are, you start building intimacy that will be there for the long haul.
A final thing to understand is that your partner could be telling you what they want but you’re not understanding it because of the different communication style. Thus, you have to go back to active listening so that you clarify whatever you’re not 100 percent certain about.
Good communication doesn’t have to be difficult to introduce in your life.
If you love someone openly and honestly, you can grow together. The only way to make that happen, however, is to talk things out. The more you learn about it each other, the better you’ll get at conflict resolution. So talk, listen and be gentle. Be honest and respectful. If you put all of this out in the way you communicate with that special someone, you’re likely to receive the same positives back.